Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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