The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
