Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
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I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Randomize