Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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