Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
FUCK WHALES
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
