wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
