You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
