Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
