It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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