Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Randomize
