According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
