nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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