why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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