Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize