filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize