We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Randomize
