Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
