i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
