Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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