It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
That accounts for only three of the penises
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
