I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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