I wish I could punch you in the face.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
