Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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