who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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