Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
