Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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