Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
