just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
