Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize