New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
