why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
