Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
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