Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
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