Tell her she can't have a vagina
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
