It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
