there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
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Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
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DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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