At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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