you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
