Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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