I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
