i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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