For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
