I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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