yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I am available for nakedness
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
