i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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