Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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