Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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