just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i now understand why vodka
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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