My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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