if i died would you start the facebook group?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
