I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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