Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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