p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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