when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize