Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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