Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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