A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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