apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
