The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
