I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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