he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
