Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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