Your face is a jimmy john
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
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