the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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