Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize