Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
